Zimbabwe in Better Days

Remember when hope was alive in the streets of Harare. Robert Mugabe had supplanted the white led government of Ian Smith. Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe, was perhaps the most lopsided of the southern African colony states. Rhodesia declared itself independent of the British Empire in 1965 and was ruled by a small percentage of white colonists. Unlike South Africa, there was never a large population of whites in Rhodesia. Revolution dwelt just beneath the surface and sanctions and international boycotts brought about the inevitable collapse of white rule. Ian Smith is now just a memory, most whites have been driven out of the country. An 84 year old Robert Mugabe starves his people in the name of revolution and paid thugs rome the streets beating the opposition into submission. Zimbabweans flee to South African and Botswana killing wild game and anything else they can find to survive. The breadbasket of Africa has now become a bread bowl of beggars picking at the garbage dumps.

And where is Trans Africa? Where is the U.N.? Where is international condemnations? Where is the African Union? Where is Nelson Mandela? The truth is no one cares or cares enough. The whites are gone, Africans are in charge and it's time to move on. Some much for liberal compassion. Sorry, but it must be said. If you are not ashamed, then you should be. This is no less a crime than the invasion of Iraq that the left is so eager to prosecute. It is always easier to spot the mote in your neighbor's eye than the log in your own.

I leave you with a better day and a hope of a better tomorrow.

10 Things You Can Do With Newspapers

besides read them.

1. Paper Mache - Just try making a globe for your kid's school project without one.
2. Bird Cage Liners
3. Historic Headlines: In my world these capture moments in time.
   
   
   
   • Kennedy Shot
   
   
   • Obama Elected
   
   
   • Japanese Surrender


4. Dog bedding at your local shelter.
5. Obituaries*
6. Wedding Announcements*
7. Painting Accesories
8. Crossword Puzzles - When was the last time you did a puzzle online?
9. Origami
10. Paper Hats

*5 and 6 are more for the people writing them than reading them and therefore qualify.

The Story That Just Won't Go Away

Baseball

All good news here.
From the RTD

The owner of the Eastern League's Connecticut Defenders said yesterday that he has requested permission from Minor League Baseball to explore the Richmond market for the purpose of potentially relocating his franchise.
Lou DiBella was close to selling the Double-A franchise to Richmond Baseball Club LC last month. The local group failed to meet the purchase price of about $15 million by the May 31 deadline.
"Anyone who's paying attention to this whole situation knows that there is a desire on the part of the people of Richmond to have baseball back," DiBella said. "Between the desires of officials in baseball and [Mayor Dwight C. Jones], it appears to me that's going to get done.
"If I'm allowed to be part of it and it works out that I'm able to be part of it, I'd be very, very happy to be involved in that market, because I think it's a market that's an excellent market for baseball."
Minor League Baseball and the Eastern League assured Jones a franchise will be in Richmond next year. Yet to be determined is which of the 12 teams will relocate.

Emphasis mine.




Let's go for the Harrisburg Senators, AA affiliate of the Washington Nats and lets not call them the Senators or the Nats, but the Falcons. Doesn't that sound great? The Richmond Falcons after our very own Perigrine Falcons nesting on Riverfront Towers. These guys have already given us thrills and broken our hearts, what better name for a baseball team.

The Paul Hammond Demographic

The Paul Hammond Demographic(PHD) came into being after the phrase was coined by a self described "uncouth social activist". The discovery of the Paul Hammond demographic came as a surprise. Up till then, I thought I was working alone. I am not sure how to describe this other than it is modeled on me and is comprised of underachievers, underemployed or even unemployed individuals who have delusions of grandeur. Currently all members of the PHD are male, although some consideration has been given to forming a women's auxilary. There has also been some interest in forming a Paula Hammond Demographic, but the membership profile is still up in the air. It is thought that the Paula H Demographic has better table manners and a preference for watching soap operas.




As leader and founder of the PHD I have been able to screen applicants. Members are generally like minded people who are willing to follow directions and subscribe to the PHD statement of principles.

1. 1. Mastery of the secret handshake.


2. 2. Pay monthly dues on time


3. 3. Refrain from eating at chain restaurants that do not serve burgers from a drive though window.


4. 4. Tend to their own dog poop and properly dispose of cigarrete butts.


5. 5. Ablility to handle alcohol or enrollment in a 12 step program


6. 6. Able to snort milk or other beverage through their nose.
   
   
   (Mouth spurting is considered acceptable)


7. 7. Must not have changed their name to Paul Hammond.






8. Not be a direct relation either by birth or marriage.


9. Be ready to mobilize at a moments notice when called by the head of the order.
   

So far we have no political agenga and meetings generally consist of watch Cash Cab or The Deadliest Catch. To keep costs down meetings have been limited to 6 or fewer members. Members are also encouraged to BYOB and snacks. Bowls and cups are provided by the host. An action plan is created at the end of each meeting, but usually consists of planning who is going to bring guacamole to the next meeting. As the organization matures, political action is likely as well as the possibility of running for office. The 1st annual PHD convention is planned for sometime in early 2010.

Individuals who would like to join the PHD are encouraged to fill out the membership form at www.phd.org. Applications should be sent in via regular mail along with a $20 application fee. Cash is preferred, but we do accept Paypal and money orders. Member benifits include cool T-shirt with our motto, "I am Paul Hammond" printed in large letters on the back. T shirts are available in two colors, black and white and can be purchased by non-members for $10 each. Again, check, money order or Paypal are accepted. A full line of PHD products will be available on our website, phd.org/.

Live Blogging From The Times Dispatch Public Square

• Dateline 6:45 PM at the RTD. What an odd twist of fate that brings me inside the RTD the day after I cleaned out my desk across the street. "Old" colleagues and coworkers do double takes and shake my hand. I am not here to see them. I just came back to retrieve my laptop, I'm starving and I happen to know they are serving cake, an irresistable combination. An unknown WiFi is up and running and I am connected and ready for some live blogging. Woo Hoo! This should make for some creative spelling.
  
• 6:50 The room is filling up with an odd assortment of folks. One old guy with a few teeth is wandering around the room sharing his opinion on almost everything. Tom Sylvestri has just walked into the room. Ages range for 30 to 80? I feel a bit young.
  
• 6:55 We have name tags, registration cards and a two minute time limit. I am mentally preparing my remarks.
  
• 7:00 Cameras are rolling, mikes are on and stage fright is building. I really should stick with the written word.
  
• 7:03 There are politicians present. This could get ugly.
  
• 7:05 I think the subject matter is "Is Government Doing Too Much?" Such an open topic. The answer is obviously Yes And No. I think I am going to keep my mouth shut.
  
• 7:07 Opening remarks by Tom Sylvestri. First timers are identified by a show of hands, about 80%.
  
• 7:10 The shot clock is hooked to a stoplight and a tazer. 50,000 volts await microphone hogs. I'm hoping to see a politician hit the deck.
  
• 7:13 This first off topic remark of the night. Something about Michael Vick.
  
• 7:15 Taser remark was just a joke. The light turns red and beeps.
  
• 7:18 2nd Remark - Yes the government is doing too much.
  3rd Remark - Yes, decentralize Federal Gov't.
  4th Remark - Yes, Federal deficit will rise to 200,000 per person by 2011.
  Things are warming up. Applause greets each comment.
  
• 7:21 Grizzly Adams has stepped up to the mike holding a box which he is thinking outside of. Suggests to build a stadium out of recycled material. Somewhere Scott Burger is smiling.
  
• 7:23 The first speaker against the proposition, a liberal snuck in. The room is suddenly quiet. I've decided to side with the "No's" since I am getting ready to collect unemployment.
  
• 7:28 Highly prepared remarks are being read. I'm definitely not speaking.
  
• 7:30 I wonder if Tom Sylvestri knows I don't work here anymore?
  
• 7:32 Best speaker of the night. Conservative who is willing to raise taxes if they are spent locally. Gas taxes should be used to fund transportation.
  
• 7:34 Bill Grogan takes both sides of the issue and is handing out candy. Somebody takes him out with a taser.
  
• 7:37 Mother of three is worried about the debt. Someone takes her out with a taser.
  
• 7:40 New best speaker of the night, speaks well and from the heart. She cares deeply about the future is worried about the size and growth of government.
  
• 7:41 More of the same. Axes are being ground, history is being taught, the Constitution is being read.
  
• 7:44 A big government fan is extolling FDR, providing some balance and tieing the past to the present.
  

Really some of the comments are well prepared and thoughtful, though they are covering the same ground. People are getting a chance to vent and air their concerns. These town squares are greeted with a lot of skepticism, but people are getting the opportunity to speak in front of their neighbors. There are no special interest groups packing the audience. These are everyday folks speaking their mind and that is not a bad thing. Everybody seems in a good mood and paying attention to the speakers. The stoplight is having its desired effect and people are limiting their remarks. This helps a lot. There are no five or ten minute tirades. All in all it is a good night, a good night plus cake. I'll update you on the cake and let these folks speak their mind without commentary. They seem like pretty nice people.

• 7:55 Last bit of reporting. A prisoner from the Richmond City Jail (recently released after 16 months) thanked the RTD for its reporting on the city jail and also Sheriff Woody for his help. He pledges a new life and receives the greatest applause of the evening.

Final note: I didn't get any damn cake. Bill Grogran, whoever the hell he is, grabbed the microphone a second time and wouldn't shut up. I had to head for the exits.

I am not now, nor have I ever been

a stooge for Media General. In my youth I took a job at the Tampa Tribune folding, stapling and mutilating, but little did I know it was just a front organization for a media empire intent on world domination. As soon as I became aware of this situation I terminated my employment, last Wednesday as a matter of fact. There are some who will say that I was fired and they would be correct, but I like to think myself as having been separated from the company. By contractual obligation I am not allowed to release any corporate secrets or privileged information I might have gained while creating the worlds most complex spreadsheets. These are all copyrighted and the property of MG Inc. I created formulas that would make a grown manager cry and I pity the fool who gets to debug them. Fortunately that is no longer my problem.

Now I find myself with some unexpected free time. Items on my to do list are...

• A trek through Szechuan, China on pony back working as expedition photographer for Richmond writer Dean H. King.
  
  
• A bicycle trek though Byrd Park, around the Carillon and back home.
  
  
• Being a stowaway on the Chinatown bus from Richmond to NYC. I'm going as freight. It's a step above coach.
  
  
• Reading James Joyce, Ulysses, or at least watching the mini series.
  
  
• Watch seasons 1, 2 and 3 of the Deadliest Catch in a 48 hour marathon.
  
  
• Organizing my CD collection.